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Can now that there are that's, you must get some good stuff from everyone out from the abbot. Also like there's, that's like really kind of almost a code of stand up. These days is just be super honest in and it ends up just to be original.
You kind of have to talk about some stuff. That's that's you, honey, brutal and out there yeah. You can't really. Do I mean it's almost like the Jerry Seinfeld Route has been said. Twenty many times and gone down so many roads. It's like, I don't see anything there.
It's like if you want to do stand up today. It's like you, know Jerry Seinfeld, as Jerry Seinfeld. Now that styles hilarious at it, but I want to see a new one of those well, so he sort of teach sort of turned it into another thing like he made it popular, it's more fun how to watch actors on a show like the office, recreating situations that happen every day.
There is your one guy, just describing it,. I thought they were really funny like guys like him and Larry Miller and and you know, there's a bunch of am yeah. I was lying around the evening at the improv yeah yeah and those guys are on those things all the time that I totally grew up on watching that stuff, but then immediately embraced stuff, that's more! You know like you. Can you don't have to just observe things you can yeah experience.
I want to hear like I've really tell me what you did. Not what everybody does. I want to hear a dangerous thought to admit I want to hear you know. I want to hear some truth that we can all agree with. I want to hear something. Fuckedup too, I don't want to hear the regular shirt I get bored with it. I'm tired of it I wanna, hear something you know I look forward to.
I like strong joke riding though I do too. I do too that can get me through it, but you're right, it's like as soon as it starts to be too much about like best is both right. Of course yeah, I love anyone, who's, a great joke writer and a good performer, that's unbeatable, that's like Louis CK yeah, but you're right about Seinfeld like he was. He was such a brilliant joke leader and deliver like in his style and then to have that show, and then you EU really see where you know.
Kirby enthusiasm really gets. Your Lord David had a began to because once I started sarkozy- and that shows like oh ok, this guy is like the king of creating like really awkward situations that, like literally you watch like some of the shows you find yourself, contorting 'cause, you like go when you fucking.
You know it's so good, it's he does such a good job of weaving that web. You know he's one of my masters. Is he. It's like on HBO, so they've been language in those situations can be like that's part of it, as he often says you know. He often says some. He swears in really in front of people, something inside.
You can't do that shit on Seinfeld because it had to be all tv appropriate. Remember there was a water bottle in his pants and a little girl, and there was like some implication, like people thought that had a hard hard on the little girls african, how you set it up. Wow yeah, if you listed everything that he was guilty of in the seven seasons of that show, he's done some pretty horrible things.
You know like just the worst thing in every situation. You know like I forget what he did to some Holocaust survivors, but it was I'm sure it was awful shows like that. Is so important show that there's like another level out there you know, like, I think, that's important for stand up. So don't you think it's good sometimes to watch somebody else. You know somebody really good watch like a bill, Cosby his prime or something like that, just to really get inspired or get you know just really kick it up to another another gear yeah.
It's always good. I think that's a huge part of I hate to give advice to people starting out, but one of the things I say to them. If they insist on having some is watch as much stand up comedy as you can, and unfortunately we get kind of tired of watching it is after we've done it for years and years,.
Every once in awhile, because it just up to your game- and you know what what everybody else is doing it inspires. You know it does something to you makes you excited about performing and I'm most excited about.
Writing after I see like you know, I'll see, Chappelle perform and I just want to go right now. Just makes me want to create new shitt. No, let's other great thing about being a stand up is when you have that impulse. You could just come up with one great Joe could be satisfied like I hate it. When I see a great movie and I'm driving home like I'm, going to write a God dam screenplay and that two too big of a task to really commit to. In that moment of excitement you know,.
You know you're excited about writing jokes and you write a good ones like ok, I did that like one thousand and twenty minutes work and then you're in and sometimes they come in, full form will just come to out of the air. It's like a little gift. It's amazing! You were talking about that with Dane Cook about how awful say something on when the crowd is so great. The next sentence after the joke is probably going to get a laugh anyway, but gets a huge laugh, then you suddenly got a new end of the job yeah.
I don't know where I right out of the ether yeah, that's how most of my you know. I do most of my writing on stage just in the sense that you know. Sometimes I have a joke. That's worked out perfectly beginning middle and end, but for the most part it's more like this is sort of something I want to try to address and then just see where it goes and have a good joke ready to go right after it.
If it ends up yeah, not not ending up getting anywhere yeah. I agree with you. How high do you get before you go on stage? Well now people think I'm high, whether I'm high or not like they just accused me of it regardless. So you know it I can be as high as I want to be, which is just you know. It's just all comes down to timing. If you have to race from the airport, you have to race from the airport to the gig. You might not be very high, but if you're chilling that day and you gotta show at eight hundred o'clock and not much to do in the afternoon other than you know, work on your computer and interviews and stuff like that, like I get I for interviews now, like foreigners yeah me too.
I love that. I love that these are super bake them. When they do throw to you you, you will talk until they until they stop you. Sometimes they don't jump in so you can really get a lot of stuff in I know I find myself like almost like feeling bad for what I'm subjecting the interviewer too sometimes 'cause. It will start on some like really innocent question I'll just start going on about the.
What is the cause of humanity? What are we here for like this totally nothing to do with anything we're talking about, but in my mind what I'm thinking about is. You know the whole vision of the world and where its headed and you now might have been a really simple question. Yet they need here, wrap it up, so they could play some more kasza. Does Super bank about the universe? It's like all coming to me in these big waves. I just need to get it out.
It is fun to get high and then right, you know or Sometimes have you ever done this? If you ever gotten high and they went oh crap now I'm starting to have ideas and I'm not in the mood to. I want to just get high watch tv, but now I got it now.
I've actually gotta go to work for little bit because the ideas are too good to ignore. I go away to hide the other day and one onstage and went to the eye was the John loves Comedy club. So you think does do a thing like that. I was at a play with its the other day. I got in his eye line a couple times to see if he knew who I was and he had he had no idea.
But if you like holy shit, you dont Benson. I mean I did. He has been in a lot of great things and any, and I have always thought he was a funny guy, but he seems you know so sad sack acting that it would be hard to be excited about. These are nice guy. He realized tat. He was like Travelin by so if you know how that just like hope it through the airports like you know, just want to get it over with just don't want to many people to you now, I'm sure like he must have gone through a period of time where there's some catch phrases,.
He must. He must have used to got that a lot, but now I'm sure he doesn't get it so much. But why don't you use technology to help with their ideas, though 'cause? I know that you, instead of writing it down. Just like make a movie do idea, because that's right there and you're not going to get there like.
I finally got the most recent Iphone everyday. I made the first video that I ever like uploaded on the internet, where I just feel myself doing something and then and then send it out there, and I'm definitely going to do more of that. It should at smart way to Cason Super fat super smart and fast and it's you know, people love content.
They want you to doing stuff, but were you saying about being at the love it's club comedy club? We got way too baked. This guy gave me a cookie in between the stage Joey. There were like these little. What are those little long banana shaped things called, and I'm talking about.
Daddy S got it now really banana. Let's closer at that, I know what it is. Now the nigerian people gaudy. I could see the banana. How do you describe their shape, hardship, cookie, coffee, cookie? That's it that's the best way to cook it could do cookie canoe. This guy, I didn't even eat a quarter of one man. I didn't he goes there really strong.
Ok, just I took a bite one bite. Forty five minutes later I was on stage and I was aboard an alien spacecraft. Just talking these people, I mean I was barely there a barely fair enough to communicate so high there's. No, I should have talked in public. That's a surreal space when you're on stage there too, because the way they have that does does balcony ad free flow leg in there and the balconies, or rather close to you, but just a pie very shallow, but yeah hi, and it's it's it's kind of except, but also it's different than what we're used to.
I mean it was a fun club. You know it's weird about that club is how the bars open and so halfway through the show you're just hearing, clunking and blocking, and people that happens in a lot of places like put a curtain right could. But you know what it ain't that bad, like San Francisco punchline, doesn't have a Caribbean that works out. Ok, yeah! That's far, somehow it adds to the ambience, though all that noise.
As long as people aren't do she. It doesn't matter, but you are right. It does give an opportunity for things to get annoying anytime. You have a bar where people can stand and order a drink, your fuct or divert attention from the crowd. I can't really quick quietly people yeah, we'll start hidden on people and talk in the lash.
I did like where it was standing. Room show me and Joey did the show in Memphis and was just last minute booking and it was a young awry club and so were like oh yeah. They have bands there funk it well, you know I'm sure it'll be set up fine and the guys like he wants to do standing room. I usually don't, I said: ok, fine, fuckit, the whole half the room was standing. Half the room was seated and was really strange. As I understand Austria stage and to your right, everyone seated and to your left as a Ro literally, like everything to your left is like there's like two hundred people, just standing and talking yeah.
Of course you doing stand up in a bar and the bear there barely paying attention. Yeah they're, acting like a band, is on stitch. I used to do that the house of blues too, but now after we went to see Stanhope and we had a stand and it was horrible. It was like after an hour like your fucking back, hurts your next Thursday Kingcup, and so I said, I'm not going to subject anybody this anyway yeah yeah.
It is, I feel, bad for people when they're standing during the show. Do you ever say? No, you won't do those shows, and just I haven't. I haven't really gotten to that position where, like you know, if that's an option and that's going to get more bodies in the venue gets less bodies in the menu you lose money. But it's to me it's better to let him sit. You mean,. That they're like coming to me begging me to let everybody stand. You know I've been on comedians, a comedy tours with with patent as well, where everybody standing and its of it's amazing.
How much, though, put up with like David crossed a standing shows all the time in his shows, go on forever and his bans come out and that crowd is is ok with it, but I don't think my crowd. I think stoners would rather sit down. I mean, I think there fine, ok with it. I would I mean if there was an only an opportunity to go, see a great comic someone you know, even if I wasn't even doing stand up it was she or shall I thought I would stand still for two hours mean.
How often is guy come to town once a year should I can say, and for two hours she wants you, but it's not. The best feeling best way is to sit around and chill download children. You could really enjoy the jokes when you're sitting down relaxing everything is more fun. What's the worst is when they have couches in a comedy club. You told me right: When this deceits her fixed fixes indolence, they can move em like it it works in Denver.
I was just going to say that that place is crazy. They got those little tiny trays that are smaller than a school desk or an airline tray, and you just put they just put their nachos in their drinks on it and they people are in there so tight and it's underground. It's really. Places almost perfect. The only thing I would say that I don't like about it is just the you know gets a little rowdy. Sometimes it gets right, the crowd noises like it. So it's a win, win they're, cheering for you in applauding 'cause, it's so loud within when they're talking talking amongst themselves, when they, like you know, losing focus, that's really loud to Denver is produced.
I think the they'll call the we'd both hit you hard or because of the hour Fuck yeah does you're a mile up in the air Man gas Overthrow Workin out up there. I've tried trade, a lot of things there that I really regret it over to amusement park there. One day- oh my god and yeah, and it's just like it was fun but much more, exhausting then going to amuse report should be yeah.
I can only imagine you're walking up here all this stuff up there. I went hiking once and it was like a full on workout like I was breathing heavy sweating inside like this is crazy. This is not what you want them out in line to catch you all he even out of breath and shit.
Can you make it up the hill? That's a wager. Rogan thinks that there might be a mountain lie or my dog god I live. I live in Colorado, my dog or email there. We saw them outline I've had we in Colorado, give hidden in a comedy club, and I've been. We we start hiding, we'd, have comedy club and stable, throwing it away and stuff does we'd ever go bad smart? No, it doesn't. I mean it lose its potency a little bit but you're talking about six months to a year.
It's fine. It's going to Brian is going to hit you harder, you're going to get stoned, reeling yeah, so he likes drawing is weed out. He takes his. We still sound like a radiator to try that shut up cock sake. I used to keep in the freezer yeah the icy deactivated it gets moister in it. That way, I like a dry. I like it to burn which make up only a freezer. It's supposed to put anything freezer at last- longer be like batteries yeah. I'm asking you that, but we want to put my coffee in the freezer.
I don't want to do that yeah exactly so weird parents did it. I just saw it did it 'cause people suggested it or somebody said it somewhere and then after a while is like. Why am I doing this? I'm getting through this weed fast enough that I don't need to freeze it for another generation right. This edible thing taught me a lesson: man. I will not eat anybody else to shift and then go on stage. It was addicted. I'd known and he's I prefer, nobody can ever knows lad, but you might I store you buying from zero.
You don't have no trouble at all. You told the truth to me is always like just deed half. It is in every time I take them up on it. It's either much stronger than that implied or weaker than that implied. People are never really that that's why Think about smoking.
Is the people behind the counter in the dispensary? Can give you a little bit more specific guidance? Then you can't with edibles it's always just like yeah. It'll hit you are wrong in about an hour. Somebody's assholes put too much in. Amazon refused to let your right now they need Amazon reviews. Every time you take a purple wreck from this store, this is what happened.
This is how much you know, and it was a job in Colorado, one of the local newspapers to be a marijuana critic right and I got the job I signed up for it and they were like. Are you serious in my fuck yeah? I want to write. It was right before we had to move, but when I was there will I was gonna, go to different we'd stores and and great them. Let somebody else is doing that now they should think they gave that job to somebody.
I remember reading about it somewhere that that yeah, that's something they wanted to do. You know I read it on some like slip, stone or something some website was was talking about it. The earlier when you mentioned Doug stand help. It was funny a couple days ago, I worked at a cost in the guy, wrote me a check and I went home. I didn't really look at it and I went home and the next morning I looked at it and he'd written the check out to Doug Stanhope.
He's like degenerate number, two you ever gotten now, you're. Never gonna checks is Joe Pisca, no definite and junior. So incredible, that's just a flutter. They like that. Like anytime, I sign a credit card, any kind of credit card slip. I always write something like tacos. Let me ask you this: why are you free to change the way you sign your shirts?
You can't say that your tea is not a big deal but not perfect. But I'm saying like saying you have a signature, write your signature so supposed to represent how you're right it's grown, very unique. We doing it right is it? Can you just decide? I don't like it that way. Now I'm going to do this with a star in the middle of it and well you're, just helping them out 'cause. Then you could get every letter of the alphabet, so they know exactly what your handwriting style looks like it's right, but it's your signature.
You still right in the same word every time. What I'm saying is, could you just totally change it up? Yeah, that's what I do every time. I change my sign, a credit card. I do here or I hate tacos. So what's the point, if you're totally changed it up and if that's cool, if you're allowed to do that, what's the point having a signature, then because you have to say, did you sign this?
Is this your signature? Yes, I did sign that, that's it, but then they say what about the one where it's? What you're signing that screen thing? Isn't that kind of at least capturing the image and checking to see if it matches how you know know know, know know it's. Writing issues is printing it on his printing it. So you could just on those things you could just type stars in anything. When I was a kid I could imitate Gene Simmons's signature, I its eight eight freely because I had like copied over their signatures as a huge kiss fan, and you can.
It's not even close. Who cares? You know how I learned it because I girl, I used to date, would type her name in cursive letters and it took fucking like an extra minute, I'm just like. That's it you're not doing this anymore. This drives me crazy is an extra minute at the cash register. So I go. I just started signing up for when I started saying like farts and fart face and talk. I usually just do tacos and stuff with interesting obsessions. Look at the taco shaped Brad Pitt flashlight.
If you'd like to try that reminded me of something, though what I do is I have a signature that I signed for stuff with and then when people ask me to sign stuff, I just print my name. I always try to say something nice to them, so it's at least personalized, but they're.
Not we get my signature they're just getting my name written out. Just how do you use paranoid about this whole identity theft? So you sign things because here wow, that's where I mean why why let someone like a gene Simmons wouldn't want somebody to be able to do a great job with his signature. I would imagine yeah well.
You should definitely be paranoid about identity theft when it comes to credit cards, but I don't really think you should worry about your signature. It's too easy to duplicate. Just carry around a stamp mean you. I don't think who who has the kind of technology? Is there turtles? You can't read my signature and I think when you sign something for somebody when they show it to people, you know if it has your name on it, that's one thing, but if you're just signing so anything when somebody looks at it, I think it's nice to go.
Oh that Doug Benson wrote that my signature, you can't. I don't think that it is handwriting. I don't think it's that they're that good at that at recognizing. You know sh it. I don't think. I think you get imitated. You can figure out how to write.
My signature and you could probably pull it off close enough. If you watch some film of do it and he saw it they do it. You could just imitated will that's where my paranoia sets in is when I'm at the atm the beeping noises at the numbers make that takes the privacy out of the number of someone was just watching the site and recording it right. They could figure out the numbers easy and then, like you, know, Jack you up, the coroner than use your card and take out whatever maximum is.
What did you see the new thing, there's a new app for Chase Bank, that you could actually scan a check front and back and with your Iphone and send it and deposits the check, and then you just rip up the check. Well, that's too, It's too easy. What about the using your Iphone to check in on the plane like the bar code for ticket can be on your Iphone, and I just run that yeah.
My fear is, you know your Iphone dead, then you don't have a ticket. Yeah and you're actually Iphone's time, and especially if you are new one dies so fast. You know you make a video and it's your powers have gone yeah yeah. You gotta think about that, if you're using the camera for sure, but it came, it's such a great thing to have a good.
The other day we were in San Francisco. We ate some chinese food after the show like clock in the morning we're outside and I saw it. I watch the whole truck you treated it. I watched it and I was like keep us be so high because you give saying is the craziest shit you ever saw?
I know you're at USC fights every other week. So I know you see some crazy shit innovation strippers in the back of a. We have seen some crazy ship definitely, but it was crazy and I was so high yeah yeah. I was just like you can't believe it and now to be able to just share it with everybody. You were like double rainbow, but with Fuckin' van full of strippers you're so excited about. It was so ridiculous to me it was such a sign of the times to me.
It was like a scene in a movie right before the meteor hit Alien landed. Somebody audio these units that shows video, audio tinges video theirs is big. Ideas is big, clear box that pulls up and theirs dance. It's a fish tank of Skaggs and their dancing.
I mean it was the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen in my life, it's for the hustler club. We had Rwanda video to find out that incomparable them over because there they should be sitting while its in motion be dancing. Why were driving? They just did like a quick. They didn't really like 'cause.
That was what I was waiting for is like them having to get out and get cough. We thought that might've happened. We took they might be going to jail like maybe it's illegal to do that 'cause. It seems so ridiculous. But apparently it's not one of the things funny when we're Feldman to go, and I didn't from their faces- I wouldn't I did specifically did it said they were already in place and I now argue about an arrogant affirmative put online.
You don't need to see your face on chancellor when you're only striven for a we bought. It always says shit on the internet forever, so I didn't use her face but aims wild film in it. The guy goes no filming, like we're in the club like bitch you're in front of a chinese restaurant. Ok you're, not at the club.
If we're at the club and I'm filming you yeah, that's a dick move, but you just can't come out into the real world in your underwear, and I can can't take a picture of that. That's crazy! Well, that's like the sexy. And you know I keep your eyes appear. Mr it's like we're come on Jesus Kronos. You know what you're doing right. They only want you to look at. They want you to look, but now it's there for everybody. With my eyes are here: goddammit Do this here, I wonder if the Pope Mobile for strippers- and you don't want us to look at you- it's awesome though it was awesome.
It was just like such a such a just, a first of all, just a perfect representation of how the San Francisco is. I wonder, then, that this goes such a naughty boy. That's just at the that, like probably no one will complain about that. No one now and I'm sure some kid site our lot there. It's so liberal there so open minded it's a weird town man.
I wonder if that law sitting down way, turning the coroner. If it came from like that back in the old days, words like a pickup truck and girls are just fly off the soil. Not I think you have to have you shoot out on a think of. You get poured over for something else. I think I know. No, I didn't know you were so they can easily see. I told you I had no idea. I thought it was an add on charter illegal. I was in a cab in San Francisco and then crusty older lady cabdriver, told me she if you ever want to drive around without a seatbelt 'cause, she goes.
I don't like how seatbelts feel I don't like to have it on, especially if you got big boobs. It must be an annoying thing, so she fast it behind her back so that it says so that cause it caused. What the cops look for the glint of the buckle, because you haven't got it pulled down, you haven't, you will have the buckled ass. So they see that and then they put they can pull you over for that and then get you out for other shell YO for glint deity allegory over for that and then they are.
We thought you had your seatbelt often, and they can. You know always smell marijuana whatever. If you get poured over furred, not wearing a seatbelt, you're, a dish, any cop dispose your humble police, personal. I like wearing it to be honest with you, I've been pulled over the other guy, I'm doing really, and he said he said he would drive window seat.
Belledonne, sir, put your seat belt on Everything you didn't do anything didn't commit taken or anything so divisive alone are ok, thank you. There might have been a period of time or they were given our warnings before really maybe kicked in, or maybe he's just feel like being officer friendly that day and say right, save and someone from doing some stupid well yeah.
There's been a lot of incidents lately of turbulence in planes causing people get hurt, really bad cause. They dont have their seat belt. Suddenly the plane just good people have died. People have died from that. I've got broken yeah, I'm busy head myself some fucking heart. It could be incredibly violent. I've ever been with someone gets pop, their ear germans during a flight. That's fucked! I guess that happens a lot. I went on a flight once with a bad cold and it was most excruciating, parents tell it was like ice picks.
In my ear I had some sort of ahead called. It was really bad and. When I was in the air like there that I was getting like a leakage in my ear and it was horrible, it was it was. It was like literally give her here baby scream theirs. Agreement on planes. That's probably what's going on it's a pressure thing. You know they probably have some sort of a head cold. It's bad yeah! It's not it's, not a good thing.
I wouldn't take a sick baby on the plane block that you'd be crazy. That's torturing that poor little kid be even sick people, regular sick people with the doing getting a tube tube yeah acting with people, that's route had to fly home sick recently, an when the plane landed, my ears wouldn't pop and it was just like, and then I knew it was over for awhile. You know I was sick for a few days how creepy are colds, there's a little bug out there and it's trying to kill you and you have to fight it off and like we're doing a pretty good job.
Holding gonna back with doing a pretty good job immune system kicks in the play. We need some. Much more fuel, gonna fight these fuckers off couple days later it gets. Is your body? Do at the very close contact in all. That's where everything is no anomaly. But you know the more important things he'll be weakened, he'll be weakened badly.
You know when a guy fights sick he's a significant disadvantage. Sick You know I've thought so in stand up comedy sick is ridiculous, terrible feeling, but doing stand up comedy circus terribly, but fake your way through it easier you can get through it. You can get through it, especially if you tell the people that your second apologize, you can get through it yeah. Now they definitely sympathize with. When you admit it, you know the guy trying to kick you in the head, while you're sick, that's the worst feeling in the world that move.
While you have a cold, but I really kicked her in the head, but losing losing a fight losing a martial arts. Competition fills bad, but bombing feels equally bad. It may feel just it may feel worse, bombing might feel worse. You don't have any sore muscles to you, know, also kind of you can't say. Well I fuckedup that happens. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you can't say that 'cause, that's not what what happened? Is you sucked? You made a bunch of people, listen to some stuff that sucked and you're supposed to feel terrible.
You like subjected somebody system, shady comedy and some shitty poorly planned out. So you know you. Timing was offer whatever it was. You fucked up that set and in doing so you you force people to watch some batter teenage post feel terrible about that or they just don't. You know there is a case of them. Does not caring for white for what you. Can we can't please everybody dies honestly and in environments like your tongue, about earlier, like if there's like a large LAO loud bar scene?
Oh yeah, well, you're gonna have the stuff like that and having had you haven't, you had some shows recently where your fans are the biggest problem like like the vague we just want to scream so much, and so often that I just you know, gets to be a problem. It's not the fans assisted the tiny percentage, it's not a lot of them, but I mean there's super into yuan. Then they drink too much because they're so excited, but most of them they can't control themselves like they just keep yelling stuff.
It does happen, it does happen, but most of them are fine, most of It isn't a terrible that feeling of like this person. Who is really a fan, fucking bugging me and ruining the show, and you can't how'd you. You know I don't. I don't like the light. Try to devastate someone, that's yelling at you because chances there's something wrong with them. Is re yelling at you in the first place, and I try to just deal with it based on whatever it is.
They always yell something different like you. Ve never had a catchphrase either. I you know, I have a thing: people yellow you know So in the course of a show, you'll hear a bunch of different things because it's like we want to hear you over to talk about. We talk about UFC right, talk about you, through they'll ask for thing sort of right, as was to just disrupting with no general mayhem right like I know we talked about this before the when data had the rich bich and I'm Rick James Bitch yeah people would just yell that out all the time all the time.
I totally understood him whether he went insane or not. I understand him trying to retract from that. There was a bunch of places that I had gone to like the house of blues, where they were talking about. The surprise shows like the people that work there were talking about how just retarded the audience weren't yellin shit, Adam Cheese, Yellin amid James Bitch, cause you're.
Sorry, I am fifteen times their excited drunks yeah, but they're retarded to yeah it's just. They pull it together for life. You know the president or something you know. It's a weird thing where it because he's so likeable and approachable Larry is they just think they do say stupid shit.
It's us in its very similar freeburg. In our idea that that anyone ever thinks that they are being clever when they all that, is that these kind of crazy, both feeling of yelling out something I mean it's, it's, I'm sure, must be fun. I use that all the time, but it's usually something random and stupid, and you just showed my friends laughing when they're onstage like no no, like you know, add an event of some kind.
You know. Oh, oh yes, sir you're, far sporting event or something yeah, it's fun to just yell out stupid shit. You went through Disneyland, I went to a fight with Stanhope and this is a boxing at the New Orleans Hotel or the oars. What the fuck is. He I and you know like small boxing event. So there wasn't. There was an while people there to fill up the noise and it was the premiums, so the premiums were fairly quiet. I can now. No one really cares about this fight. These guys and sent up like hall them down and fuck is destroying confidence, nature yelling out the more more and more preposterous shit.
Every second, like we total last secular, the round fall on your ass and say, say: you've been punked like just started. We had a good when we were at the undercards at the Vegas fight we went to because it was that thing we're like the arena wasn't filling up. Yet quite you know so that so I was just saying that the salmon O Brien, if we want those. They will hear it. They can't not hear what I'm going to yell at them right now.
It's such weird power to have while people are trying to fight about awesome, is, I would have picked it up on tv 'cause. If you were that close in its that, quite if you were yelling, I would hear it through my headphones, which means it's get to the video that happens in the video you can hear corner man yelling all the time yeah. You always hear corner man yelling if you're right near the corner man, you know if you're like in the front row or something like that, you could probably make an impact on the actual show itself.
What were we saying? I didn't yell anything, but there was somebody near us that yelled something that made everybody laugh everybody in our section laughed at some stupid. I always do a QA in my shows, at the end, so to let people yell out, let people use yellow questions and talk and just something where the whole much more loose. So if they request something early on, you say I'll get mad at the end, so you guys will talk about whatever you want I'll say it will just wait.
Wait until the end will talk about whatever you want. I always do. I do it. Unless I run out of time. I do that pretty much every show. But I know I know they want to help those. I wonder how things are to drugs, violence, part of the fund, No, it's part of a live show that makes it so much more interesting than you know, watching a record like this shit is happening right now. You clap in if you, your clapping and cheer nieces thanks thanks appreciate you just created that thanks, you know and you and he is like dogs, brother, and I use this method like tab system should happening right now, it's so much more than just to show.
You know it's like it's. It's a show that live. You know, so I like that. I like people, I like a little chaos. I just don't like specks somewhere people are behind a fuck up to show yeah energizing yeah, and you get that in your tweets at me, like I'm, coming down to Haeckel. Sometimes it sometimes their kidding, but a lot of times are like they do. They really have the intent to Haeckel later to like it should be based on.
If something. Fox say it sucks or if you know- or you know, if they mentioned your school, you can yell out the name of the team or whatever, but to just sit there like not a figure out a way to tackle this guy. It's really just it's just poking a bear with a stick. Essentially it's just like I'm going. I want something to happen. Some guys do it just 'cause. They desperately want attention and they truly believe somewhere in their head that because of what they said, Did you say something really funny and biting and cutting in the whole audience laugh yet still helping they totally tossed it to you, and then you slam, Dunk, like hey man, I'm just helping out with those fun right and like you, just helping me out like what kind of fucking arrogant cut they have a show and think about this.
I've got all this prepared shares a professional comic, I'm just. Like that question I get all the time is like. Do you write this stuff in advance or just get up there and say it? Will you have a style like I try to do, and I know a lot of guys.
Try to do is where everything is sort of conversational almost to the point where you know even prepared bit they flow in in between, like sure sideways at the point where it really looks like that's what you're thinking about at the moment or that's what you're talking about for the first time. Well, so you know used though it's pretty extensively like I'll look at mice set list and.
That's what you know like? Don't we just have a professional? Why am I worried about memorization when I could just look at it I'll take it to the next lazy level. I have a photo of my clipboard clipboard back there. That's where all the new stuff that I'm working on, I took a photo of it with my Iphone and I stick it in my pocket and then on stage I'll pull up my I photo open it up and stretch out the picture, so I could read the notes.
Yeah, that's what it's made for. I love that sure something I took a picture of recently was just to just to be able to see it later and it was, but it was like a document or something. I think I feel like a spy with these crazy phones. These things getting getting really high when I go onstage definitely helps my set, helps me tune into things, but the problem is.
You really will forget what the fuck you're talking about yeah, if you don't have, if you don't have notes or if you go off on any kind of tangent, you could go right into the woods and be lossed yeah. I was playing a club this last weekend in Atlanta called the laughing skull. It's like this tiny room. Well, ok, whose they're making that's brands that's right!
That's fat, you or whatever that booth fat booth. I gotta remember to do that because I Diana. I know I look like even fatter, it's great, What was it over also set the laughing skull, and they have this, tax rules of comedy up posted up in their green room grown and, as you know, that's a nice gesture and it's kind of cool a bill. Hicks took the time to have some rules.
And most of them are most of them are pretty reasonable, even though I don't believe there should be rules and how you stand of comedy that sort of the point of it by grief, but when he's dead but he's dead, and these brilliant yourself, one of his rules, was, if you get on it. Hedjet never go back and finish the joke. Just keep moving forward, it's death to go back and finish the joke.
I don't think that's necessarily I think it's true at all. I think, and maybe you and I are two of the people that are out there, proving it by going off on tangents quite a bit and but then come back to what you're saying, because, first of all, it's satisfying to the audience that you even remember to go back to it. You know, like some people watching this thing would have been like when I interrupted you when you're trying to tell the Jon Lovitz Club story, they would have been like those students, donors, never went back to finish status at ory, you know that's why I made a point of going to rise.
I don't want to be the stupid. Stoner ought to be clear in my own way, even though I'm high even on stage yeah, there's nothing wrong with going on tangents and coming back. It's always around a joke. Joke has an ending. So if you get back to it and finish it now, I agree that if you, if you stumble on a word in a joke. You can't buy a cup of coffee for that much in some places, let alone two hours of inventive comedy.
Now, the bad: I admire Doug for a lot of things, but mostly for his work ethic. The guy might be a stoner, but he's far more prolific than your average comedian. He puts out a new album every year like clockwork, he hosts a podcast about movies on a more or less weekly basis. He's already created and produced two movies and is working on a third.
He's the best argument against weed turning you into a do-nothing slacker. Unfortunately, this also means he's getting a little overextended. Some comedians only release an album when they've got a full set's worth of A-grade material. But Doug is nothing if not a stickler for routine. His podcast is an excellent example of this. Once it was about forty minutes of chatting with guests about movies and then twenty minutes of playing The Leonard Maltin Game where guests must figure out a movie title based on a few clues and a wagered number of actors' names from the cast list.
However, as things have succeeded on the show, he's added them to the line up. Leaving the guests about ten minutes to talk about movies, which is essentially the point of the podcast. My point is that, instead of focusing on content so much, Doug more and more seems to be focusing on presentation. His albums are a testament to this.
In the latter album, Doug started a routine where he would read some of his tweets to the audience, which I thought was only so-so. When Potty Mouth came out last year, I noticed a few things. For one, a lot more of the humor was about being stoned. This is a crowd pleaser since they're usually stoned, too , but the jokes get redundant and a little obvious, and it makes the set seem a bit too self-aware for the style of comedy Doug usually does best.
For another, Doug didn't just read his own tweets, he also started reading tweets from the audience. Finally, although Doug has always interacted with the audience quite a bit, the set felt almost entirely geared for an in-person performance rather than for listeners at home. The result was an uneven and disjointed set that felt distant and a little phoned-in. I mean, although it must be a treat for Doug to read one of your treats at the start of a show, listening to it for six minutes at the beginning of an album is dull and alienating, especially since the audience's tweets are rarely that funny.
Even Doug's own tweets are only hit-and-miss. They rarely have the punch needed to get a good laugh a la Steven Wright , and since he's reading them from his phone, Doug doesn't really deliver them with very much flair a la Mitch Hedberg.
This album continues with this trend. The pot jokes are everywhere I honestly think Doug is funnier when he's NOT talking about weed, but since his audiences are usually stoned, he plays to that more and more , and they tend to blur together. About forty minutes of this whole album is devoted to tweets, which gets really old really fast.
And although I bet it was a ton of fun to be there while he was performing, much of the audience interaction is lost to listeners who can't see what's going on a fact Doug comments on more than once. Ultimately, I think this album is worth the money, and I enjoyed it, although not as much as I would have liked.
Doug Benson Kills Me and He really proves that in this album and i'm also glad that he tried new things because he did two shows to see if he is funnier high or not high. I loved the concept for this album. Providing two performances of the same material with one while high and one sober was a very cool idea.
I like Doug Benson. I listen to his podcast. But I thought this album kinda sucked. One person found this helpful. Doug Benson is one of my favorites and this album is great! If you like this humor, you will be in for a treat. So don't bit-torrent it, support a funny man and buy his album!
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Doug: It was pretty good. My dad was maybe a little distant, maybe not quite as loving as a father could be. But pretty good about, you know, always wanting to throw a ball around in the yard, and always interested in - He just had to have two or three jobs all the time to keep us afloat. Because my mom was, she used to be a registered nurse but then she eventually just became just went into housewife mode and just took care of the house and me and my brother.
But so he was like, he was super into sports and I never really got into like, you know, my dad would watch golf on tv and be fascinated by it. I'd always be like — who cares. And then some of the other sports he liked watching are basketball and football. I'd kind of get into it but more or less I was always the kind of person that I enjoy sports more when I'm there seeing it happen in person.
I love most sports. I'll go watch most stuff in person. Paul: I would imagine, I've never seen it high but I would imagine high it would blow your mind. The speed and the power that those guys have. Doug: Yeah I just mostly when was I was a kid. Because there was a - I was trying to remember the other day when Graham and I were talking about it -. Doug: There was a hockey team in San Diego and their mascot was a penguin I think?
But I forget what they were called. So we'd go see that on occasion. We went and saw a lot of — we'd go and see the Padres and the Chargers quite a bit. Paul: Did you feel like you connected to your dad? Or like you just were barely hovering above just disappointing him. Doug: Well he really loved, he was very supportive of me being in school plays and stuff. And then when I got into stand up comedy he was very supportive.
And probably came to see me perform more so than anybody else in my life. So that was great. He was, there was very little push back from my parents on me being like - 'well I'm going to move into LA and get into show business. It didn't cost them any money for me to move away and try to get into show business. So the fact that I just made subtle inroads over the years kept them pretty happy. But I'd say about my mom, part of the reason maybe I wasn't as close to my dad as I could have been, is that my mom was very I'd say smothering?
She was so there for me for pretty much anything I wanted. Definitely like moving out was definitely my opportunity to get away from that. Because I lived with my parents until I moved to LA at twenty-two. So I was going to junior college in San Diego and living at home 'cause we had a fairly big house and the downstairs was just two bedrooms and a bathroom and an entry way.
So I would just chill down there and I could get away with - My parents were like, when I see tv shows where the parents get mad cause a girl sleeps over? I was just always like - oh man I had it good. Doug: I could have girls just come stay over. They were usually like a girlfriend that they'd meet and get to know. Doug: Well that's the thing.
I didn't - Getting high didn't cross my mind until I was out on the road being a professional comic and hanging out with -. I didn't start smoking weed in earnest until I was about twenty-eight years old. That's the - we buried the lead. That's what I always tell people when the subject comes up. Doug: Not, it just didn't — and it's the weirdest thing. I owned Cheech and Chong albums when I was a teenager, listened to them over and over again.
Doug: You know, would watch everything that had drug abuse and weed in it, I would watch. But I never, like in Junior College I would just have the typical drunken nights. You know, from high school to junior college to the first five or six years I lived in LA. I just hung out with non pot smokers. That's just how it happened. I never knew anyone -. Paul: I see. So but you think if your friends had been smoking a ton of weed, you would have started then.
Doug: I think so yeah but I don't know. I mean, I've also never really spent any time with anyone who does cocaine on a regular basis. So I've never even tried that. And certainly obviously even stronger shit like heroin and stuff I just never — even when I've known like a wild man comic for some reason that comic has never tried to get me to do coke or try anything crazier than drinking or smoking. Paul: So what was it about weed then that just made it so, something that you wanted to do all the time.
At twenty-eight — was there something specific going on in your life when you were twenty-eight that it just kind of filled a void? Doug: I think that I had, you know, I had already figured out that you can only get crazy assed shit faced drunk every so often. Like doing it, If I'm in comedy clubs every night and I'm always just drinking every night? That's just not going to work. To this day I still drink, I never quit drinking but I try to keep the hangover days to few and far between.
Does the amount of alcohol you drink, does that, has that ever been a problem? Like mornings where you wake up and you're like, 'oh what the fuck did I do. Doug: Yeah that happens on occasion. Like where you go oh this is a day where I actually have to get stuff done and I'm really hung over.
So it sucks. Paul: How about when you're actually drunk? I mean like, I remember you and Graham back when Graham was drinking, you guys got tossed out of a casino in Vegas or something? Paul: Oh that was Pardo. Back when Pardo was drinking. That must have been right before Pardo quit. Doug: But that was one of those nights where and you know I see people going through it all the time.
At comedy shows, if someone's out of control I'll get them out of the show. And then you know that the story the next day is Doug Benson's a dick. He threw me out for no reason. And that's how Jimmy and I felt about that night in the casino. What did we even do to get -? Why did we get thrown out? And then you start to think about it.
And we were just - not only were we relentless, we were actually funny. We were two guys, two professional comedians, drunk. And like the pit boss we kept giving him a hard time. And you know how, Jimmy Pardo giving someone a hard time sober is pretty intense. Doug: They have the best sense of humor. But it was the dumbest little casino and it was so funny cause I got up to go to the bathroom or Jimmy did, one of us did, yeah I guess I went to the bathroom.
And when I started to head back, what they did was they had two different security guys say to each of us separately to not only leave but they made us leave through different exits. So we had to like walk around the building and find each and then just be like, what just happened? Doug: But I've seen since then a million times somebody so drunk in Vegas and they just let them keep gambling.
And they just, and they really tolerate it. So we must have been so horrible. That the guy was just - we must have hit him on some personal level. You know how Jimmy is with the nicknames. We were calling the guy some name and it was probably something that like maybe his first dog was named that and it died or something. Something didn't sit right. So next thing we knew we were thrown out.
But that next day I don't know, I don't even recall how particularly hung over I was. I just, what I hate now is, it happens every four or five months, I'll have a night where - people are sending shots up to me, or after the show people insist on doing some shots. And you just don't keep track of how much you've have to drink. And then the next day not only are you hung over, but also you have that -from this time to this time, from this time to when I woke up this morning in my clothes, I have no idea what happened.
Those black out periods. And I recently had a black out period that was fortunately for me, recorded as a podcast. Amy Schumer and Anthony Jeselnik came in on a train and the four of us, it was those three comics and me doing a Doug Loves Movies in Baltimore.
Huge crowd. But Graham and I, our plane got there late. So it was one of those things where our plane landed after a long flight, we ran to our hotel rooms and got cleaned up and ran over to the show. We got to the show about an hour late. And we just ran right up on stage and people started sending shots up. And Graham doesn't drink at all. So he didn't have anything to drink.
But Anthony and Amy and ,I but I got even more hammered than then because I was on a completely empty stomach We just proceeded to all get crazy, crazy shit faced. So then when I woke up the next day, I only remembered up to a certain point in the podcast.
And the rest of the night I have no idea what happened. But I got to listen to the rest of the podcast and hear how ridiculously drunk I was. I got very repetitive 'cause we were trying to play the Leonard Maltin game and I would just keep recapping what was happening unnecessarily.
But amazingly we got through the whole show. I forgot to say the closing line I usually say. But then, I also got to see all these pictures of me taking pictures with fans 'cause they put them on Twitter after the show. I've got one that I kept, where it just looks ridiculous how clearly drunk I am even in the still picture. So that one was a real — I got to watch out for that.
And then recently in Portland I did some what they're called, they're called hash oil hits out of a bong. And I don't - I mostly use a vaporizer at home now. Doug: And I went out and did a podcast in Portland. And the crowd's energy was great and it went really well. But then when I put it on the internet people were like — 'what's wrong with you. You sound so out of it on this new podcast.
Like we're used to you being high or drunk or whatever but this was out of control. I thought it went great. And I listened to it and the — we always hire different people to do the sound when I do road shows. And in this particular case the audience wasn't miked too great. So like their enthusiasm was kind of taken out of the equation. You couldn't hear how raucous or, at least this is how I remember it, you couldn't hear how raucous and appreciative the crowd was.
And then I actually sounded like, that the speed had been slowed down. To a degree where I can't even imitate it on purpose. It was really just like - 'hey It sounded like I was underwater. Or somebody had messed with the sound or something. And it was just that way for the entire episode. Doug: Being really high. But also like taking the crowd, you know anytime the crowd is really reacting big you can be so small as a comic.
You can practically whisper when the crowd is going ape shit for stuff. Paul: So it sounded like you weren't matching the energy the crowd needed, when in reality it was, it was — but then again it was -. Doug: Everyone that was there was fine with it. Everyone in the audience. No one complained — oh you were too fucked up.
But listening to the podcast people were like — what is wrong with you? You sound so Like I was on — cause it was around the time that there was a lot of talk about Michael Jackson and Propofal. You know, was Conrad Murray your doctor? Did you just see him right before you went on stage? Paul: I love by the way and I'm going to do something really hacky which is say something that I've actually said on stage before - But as great as a musician he was he should be in the junkie hall of fame because if you think about it - he went out to score drugs and he came back with the doctor.
I mean how fucking awesome is that? If you're a junkie it doesn't get any better than that. You've got the guy living in your house that gets you high. Doug: Yeah and then the guy's defense was - he did it himself. He took that surgery grade anesthesia that is never in anyone's home for any reason.
He got me to have some of that available so that he could then take it without my permission. Without my expressed permission. Paul: How often does the thought, if ever, occur to you — I need a break from the drinking or the smoking. Or does it never? Doug: It never, well that Portland show made me realize that like taking big bong hits of hash oil hits or whatever it was, I've got to know my own zone. I'm just used to - I use a vaporizer at home all the time so that's really nice on the throat.
And then when I'm out and about I'll just smoke whatever with whoever. But doing that in the dressing room, also we did a stand up show earlier that night it was a two show night and that guy was back in the green room the entire night getting me and whoever else wanted to high. Which is like, most comedy clubs you know they're either like - could you please go outside and do that, or Or this one show I do once a year in Oklahoma City where the women who own the - I guess they own the venue?
They're involved in someway, have a whole elaborate set up backstage and they're just excited I'm there and want to get my high every time. Which is great and I really have had like, ninety-seven percent of my shows have been good while high or a little drunk. But when that line gets crossed over I recognize it and I'm embarrassed by it and I want to adjust accordingly.
Doug: Yeah, yeah I tried to like on Twitter, I kind of said: 'Apologies to everyone at that comedy club in Baltimore' because I knew that when you're black out drunk you're probably not - Like Amy Schumer said at one point she came over to me with a cup of water and tried to hand it to me and I just knocked it out of her hand. And I was like, 'you were pretty drunk too, are you sure I did that?
I mean, but also though kind of funny. Paul: What are some kind of recurring negative thoughts that you have if any towards yourself? Doug: Well right before we do this can I just go back, because I think we, I think people think they're listening to a couple of stoners because I started to get into why I started smoking at twenty-eight. Paul: I love that the stoner fucking remembers it more than the - well let's also remember that I smoked for thirty years and did a lot of damage to my brain so there's a lot of resin still in there.
So why did you -. Doug: Just living does a lot of damage to your brain. Like I know plenty of people, like you know like Graham Elwoods never smoked weed at all. And when we're sitting around together I remember some things, he remembers some things. Memory's just going to go regardless. Doug: So yeah twenty-eight out on the road, see I didn't become like a non-stop or wake and bake kind of stoner until maybe three or four years after that.
When I started at twenty-eight I was just smoking, I was the mooch stoner. The guy that only smoked when he was with people who had it. So there was like, you know there would be chunks of time of varying lengths that I would not be around people who had it. But then like I just eventually became that person that's be like he'd show up, I'd show up at like Brian Posehn's house and be like - 'where's the weed buddy? In fact one birthday Tony Camin bought me one of those dugout things that you can put the weed in and then you have that little fake cigarette that you dip in it.
He bought me one of those. Doug: There was so pot in there, you know but yeah. And then I eventually started growing -. Doug: Twenty-nine, thirty something like that. But I really did spend a few years being just smoking it when it was around. Which I have a lot of friends that are that way now. That like if I have weed they'll smoke with me. Paul: Ok. Let's just stop for a second. Maybe I'm crazy here, but somebody that's showing up and their first thought is always 'hey where's the weed' they're running from some feeling.
What feeling do you think it is that you were running from, or are still running from that makes it so tempting to want to bend reality a little bit. Doug: I just think I'm just a fun junkie. You know that, because I sat down with a psychiatrist and had several long sessions while we were making Super High Me to sit down and really try to talk it out because I had certainly never seen any kind of shrink or anything.
And then on top of that for it to be specifically about, well let's try to figure out what it is about weed. And the only thing I kept saying to the guy during the thirty days that I was sober and the thirty days that I smoked constantly, the only thing I kept saying was just that, I just think it's fun. It's fun for me to smoke. So when I'd show up at another comedian's house or at a comedy club and tried to find the comic who has the weed and get them to smoke me out, was just like, it was just trying to - I wouldn't show up at a funeral and try to find somebody.
You know what I mean? But any other place where fun times are supposed to be had I think it was my way of sort of self-medicating in terms of, it certainly helps me with an overall anxious feeling. Paul: Ok, well let's talk about that, that anxious feeling. What, can you talk about that, or describe what that is? Doug: I think this goes back to my mother being such a, you know being so there for me but also taking care of me too much.
Was that I just, she was quite the worrier. She's always worried. To this day, I don't tell her when I'm flying, I just call her when I land. Doug: Because she will worry the entire several hours I'm in the air but if she doesn't know yet until I get to the place then I call her up and go 'I made it.
Paul: Can you give me some snapshots from childhood if you can remember any that kind of exemplify her smothering or her excessive anxiousness? Doug: Well in terms of smothering I could quite literally get up in the morning, and go into the bathroom for a few minutes and then come back out and my bed would be made.
She really -. Doug: Took care of me. Yeah, like really, you know she took care of the house. She's like - even now she lives in an apartment by herself but she, it's just very - she's always always cleaning, always making sure everything is in its place. Doug: Well that's what happened when I was like in high school and college is she wanted to know everything all the time. And I started shutting her out of certain things. I wouldn't just talk to her about my sex life or whatever.
But we still remained pretty close, and then when I moved to LA since San Diego is so close I see her five or six times a year and we talk on the phone a lot. Going into adult hood I've been more closed off and like, and also because you meet so many people and so many things happen to you and especially show biz related things I just feel like there's some things I can talk to her about and other things it would just take too long to explain what the hell I'm talking about.
Or about, just talking to her about working at the WB it's like I would just give her the highlights because it's just like Paul: Look I get it, my mom could be described as smothering certainly at certain points in my life. And I know that feeling of the phone rings and you see it's her number. And you're just, a feeling of dread would come over me and it's not that I don't love my mom, it's just, it's an ordeal. You feel like you're disappointing them on a certain level because you can never give them enough of your life to satisfy them.
Did you feel that applies with you and your mom? Doug: Yeah and both of my parents when I would come to visit and stuff, they - what they want is your presence. They don't necessarily want to have any kind of intense interaction the entire time. Just being nearby is important to them.
And that's, fortunately that's something I've grown to understand little bit more so I try to appreciate that. But it was just always weird to me when I would go visit them and they would sort of, go about their business happily because they were just happy I was there but they wouldn't - But then the flipside of that is when they just sit there and question, after question, after question and as a touring stand up comic, the questions aren't that different from my parents as they are from everyone I meet, everywhere I go.
And it just, that gets exhausting after awhile. So that's another area that I kind of started shutting my parents out a little bit on, getting into every little detail of what my work is like. Paul: Do you have any painful memories that jump out when you think back to being a kid or growing up with your parents? Any memories that when it starts to come up you just kind of want to push it back down and go - Oh God, I fucking, that sucked.
Doug: I might have many of them but ones that are, any that are coming to mind right now - I'm not saying they don't exist but I just don't -. Paul: Something where you were just like I got to get the fuck away from this 'cause this is just bugging the shit out of me. Doug: Well, like, my father's favorite criticism to go to when he'd see me do stand up on tv was he's always say 'I don't know why you have to say stuff that's dirty.
Doug: Yeah, super standard. And then, but my mom's was always got on my nerves a little bit more because she would always go to the 'why weren't you on more? And why isn't it your show? Why is someone else hosting that thing that you came on and just did a few minutes on. Paul: Did you ever get the feeling that your mom, and this is a really fucked up question, but did you ever get the feeling that your mom almost wished that she was married to you more than your dad?
Doug: laughing I don't think I ever had that feeling but now that you mention it Paul: Did you get the feeling that your mom paid more, was more interested in your life than your dad's life. I think that was maybe the way that I wanted to phrase that. But you feel it in your gut as something you just kinda want to get away from. Is that, does that apply to you? Doug: I think that's what I, I think I was happy, I think I stayed with my parents as long as I did, like lived in the same house with them because I was so spoiled and because they sort of left me alone out of a combination of knowing that's the right thing to do but also because they had their own stuff to do.
Especially my dad was like, worked quite a bit. But we always had, that's one thing that kind of lead me to eventually having my own podcast all about movies is that's the one thing that always held us together as a family was just that my parents took me to movies from day one and never stopped. And now like Thanksgivings coming up here in a few days and I'm going to go, that's just what we're going to do.
I go see my mother in San Diego and we go see a movie. Whatever she wants to see so I have to sit through some horrible stuff sometimes. Paul: That's so funny that you mention that though because when I go to see my mom there is, nothing feels as soothing as watching, stopping the conversation and watching something on tv so she'll stop talking and asking me questions about myself.
So that makes perfect sense to me that movies would kinda become that thing where you're giving your parents what they - aside from the awesomeness of movies which is enough for you to fall in love with movies to begin with. But the icing on that cake, it makes sense to me, is they're get to be around me and I get to have a little boundary for two hours. Doug: Yeah, well that's where a TV gets a little tricky, watching it in a living room gets a little tricky because sometimes they'll just start asking questions anyway.
Doug: But if you're in a movie theater, if they're going to ask anything, it's going to be something like 'who is that? It's not about me and my successes or short comings. But I just think that the reason I brought movies up at all is just that for the entire time my dad was alive and my mom to this day -. Doug: A few years ago. But we always, that would come up in pretty much every conversation either in person or over the phone. Is like, what have you seen, what do you think of it, what do you think of this, what's going to win the Oscar?
That was, that was -. Paul: Are those enjoyable conversations? Or is it along the lines of 'who books your gigs? Doug: Yeah well sometimes it gets a little, you know, it's very frustrating when your parents completely don't get a movie that you adore and vice versa. But also like especially with my mom over the years it amazes me sometimes some of the things she likes.
Because she really does find stuff of quality. And enjoys it. She recently just went through, because she goes and gets, she rents DVDs from the library, and she recently watched all five seasons of The Wire. Doug: And apparently understood what was happening.
Like 'cause the language on that show -. Paul: Shocking. Shocking to me. That is - first of all one of the greatest series ever made but one of the most dense, like I almost wore out the rewind button on TIVO watching that. Doug: Yeah 'cause the jargon amongst the street kids with the drugs and the cops. And then when the mayoral campaign and everything. Doug: Such a smart show. And also violent and also you know scary and sad. And so the fact that she just ate that up, like that's the thing.
My parents have both always been into great storytelling and interesting characters and going to the movies. So that's the one thing they gave me that like we've been able to So she's always like every time I go to visit, 'What movies did you bring me?
Doug: I think it's impossible for me to let her in as much as she would like to. But I also, I don't think they're that much disappointment from her end because she's never been — This is how much of kind of a worrier she is. She just looks at Los Angeles as like a much more horrifying, much scarier place to live than San Diego.
Which is like yeah, San Diego is arguably safer but also has plenty of areas just like LA where it's not safe at all. And in some of the safest neighborhoods in all cities -. Doug: It's dangerous because people can just cruse in and do something fucked up a part of town that's nice. Doug: Yeah, exactly, exactly. So it's like, that's one thing I've tried to get over, is just the idea of thinking of any particular city or place is being more dangerous than another, But my mother has, both my parents just visited me in LA once or twice.
It was always on me to go down there and visit them. And my mom lived with my brother, my mom and dad both lived with my brother and his wife up in Seattle for awhile. And they hated it. Because they hated coming from San Diego. They just hate the bleak weather. And also just sort of being stuck, because there was a house out in the middle of the woods.
So since my dad died I've been kind of like, 'Mom, why don't you go live with my brother again? I like living here. Doug: 'And why can't I come live with or near you? It's just not something she wants to do at all. And she certainly doesn't expect me to move down and live in San Diego. So I don't think she's disappointed and I think she's happy but It does frustrate sometimes that she's not living near or with me or my brother.
But I'm starting to learn from traveling so much and not being in a relationship for awhile that maybe that's something she's passed down to me. I'm pretty comfortable with being alone. Doug: I can try, I can try to come up with - I definitely have some fears.
I don't know, we'll see how they fit in terms of, if they're too big or too small. Doug: All right, so I've had a growing concern about car accidents. And the other guy got put into an ambulance and I just stood there and watched. Like I was fine. But ever since then, I don't let anybody that I don't know or that isn't a professional driver drive me anywhere.
Paul: That can't be convenient going on the road being a stand up. Because normally the comedy club sends -. Doug: That's what happened. They sent some kid, it wasn't the kid's fault or anything but it just sort of - Now when I'm on the road we either get a rental car and like Graham drives the rental car a lot. Or, you know, taxis.
And In a lot of cities I actually know somebody. Paul: I have to say in the six months I've been doing the show, maybe the healthiest fear I've heard so far. You know what that may be the closest one to common sense that I've heard yet. Doug: So just any time I'm out driving I like having the control myself, I love to just drive myself. But any time I'm doing it, I'm very cognizant of just how many other people that are driving that for various reasons have no business driving.
Doug: Drunk or upset about something. Have you ever driven somewhere after a break up or something? Doug: And there's just so many things, and then just typical stupidity or just not, just the surprises that could happen. Like if a squirrel runs out onto the highway and someone hits their breaks too hard. So like, I'm just, I've just become very aware of, it just seems more driving in cars in all cities in this country just feels more dangerous to me than flying or being on a roller coaster or anything like that.
Doug: I mean I guess maybe I probably might be a little less anxious if I'm high. That's the great thing about having people drive you around. At least you can get high and sit there and not have the responsibility. You shouldn't be high when you're driving a car.
But anyway that's where that fear sort of came from, is just having an actual incident where I had the same feelings you had had. I always thought it weird to just have somebody, in this case he was just an open miker that the guy asked to give me a ride. And the kid was thrilled to give me a ride. Like he was excited. So he that extra thing to worry about.
Being thrilled to be driving around with me in a car. I don't need that. I want confidence. I want a professional driver. Paul: You don't want somebody who's constantly looking over at their three o'clock with dreamy eyes. Doug: Yeah, Yeah. I don't want him to want to make out with me. I want him to just get me to the radio station. Paul: I'm going to read a fear of a listener 'Cause I have spent most of my, I would say about a hundred and fifty fears I've revealed so far on the podcast.
This comes from a listener who's name is Sean. Doug: Yeah, it doesn't seem, It's seeming like the political process is just a big fat log jam that's not, that doesn't exist to help anyone. Paul: It seems like there's two parties beholden to corporations pretending that they're both not to varying degrees. It's like the democrats are a little better at pretending they're not being -. Doug: - Beholden to anyone but they are. That's why, there's this new, there's some crazy Democrat in Florida who's trying to get, the occupy wall street has gotten him to come up with a new rule to try to pass as a law that corporations should not be allowed to make political donations of any kind.
Doug: That would be fantastic. But that's not going to go anywhere because all the politicians are getting their money from corporations. Paul: Well you know corporations were created with the, under the presumption that can be treated as people.
They should be given the same rights as a person. And somebody had a great sign that said I'll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one. That kind of sums up how I feel about it. If you want to be able to be treated as a person, then you should be have to be punished like a person. Who's turn is it? Doug: I'm not worried about screwing them up as much as I am just am worried about worrying about them.
You know I think that -. Doug: That's what I got from my mom I think I'm a worrier and as it is now I can just worry about pretty mundane things instead of a person. I've got another one, you can go next. Doug: Oh my next fear would be, it's just a general commitment to a woman fear. That I just don't, I shouldn't say I'm, I'm comfortable with it, but I'm guessing that's why I'm not trying very hard to get into another relationship is because I'm afraid of being in one.
Paul: You're comfortable with your choice of not being in a relationship because the fear underneath it is fear of commitment and responsibility to another person. Doug: Responsibility and then you know eventual, potentual — potentual!
Potential abandonment. I don't like the idea of someone being able to just go 'Hey I don't want to be in this relationship anymore. Paul: So it's the fear of you feeling the abandonment or you abandoning them and hurting them feeling the guilt. Doug: I'm not, sadly, I don't feel that bad about abandoning them because I don't think that I would.
I think that's my problem is that once I get into a relationship I kind of dig in and want it to never end. Even if it's bad for me. Paul: The pain of abandonment, what does, can you describe what that feels like or what you think that would feel like? Or did you experience it in your last two relationships? Was it a feeling of like — abandonment? It's just weird that that person just decides to not be there for you anymore. And then they always want to give you the 'let's just be friends.
And in both cases they did that for awhile, much to my chagrin. Doug: It just made me, it makes you feel stupid and embarrassed. Because when that person wants to show up at every party that you go to with your friends and they want to try to like, and you have those stupid arguments with them where you go, 'these are my friends. I've grown close to some of these people. And they don't give you that space.
And it's just aggravating and sad and frustrating. And then, eventually they move on anyway. They defend something, they work so hard to try and keep something that they're not going to ultimately want anymore anyway. Paul: Because they don't value it as much as you did because they were your friends to begin with.
Doug: Yeah and they may still sort of keep in touch with certain people and stuff. But both of these girls have pretty much faded from, I don't run into them anywhere I go to be with my friends. Paul: Is it fair to say too that part of what makes that sucky is that you feel like they're not respecting any pain you might be feeling at you having been broken up? No, they should definitely just, if they want, any time you break up with someone who wants to keep going the best thing you could do for that other person is just cut them off cold turkey and not deal with them in any way shape or form.
Just get out of their life completely. The whole like, 'we should stay friends, or let's stay close, ' that can come about over time. I'm pretty friendly with one of my exes. The other one that I don't ever see, if I did I think I'd been better now than I would have been for a year or two after it happened. Water Brother My Woman's Good To Me Jama Joe My Cherie Amour Out In The Cold Again. Because Come Together Darling Something Octopus's Garden The End.
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